Due to the arrival of a new version of Planet of the Apes arriving in cinemas near you, Danny, Lynn, Chris and James decided to rewatch everything that the movies have offered us so far. Danny and James give their thoughts.
PLANET OF THE APES (1967 original)
James: "Get Your Filthy Paws Off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape!" This film is a classic for all the right reasons. It’s an epic in the way films struggle to be these days. You couldn't have twenty minutes pass with three people just trudging through a desert with just one or two short character building conversations these days. There's a couple of minor niggles throughout but overall this is pure classic sci-fi with hefty allegories of racism and the dangers of nuclear weapons.
Danny: I think Classic is the perfect description. They genuinely don’t make make them like this any more. Lovely wide shots, great acting, and a great story. The obvious comments on racism and religion still have quite an impact today, so it must have been mind-blowing on initial release.
James: It was also quite surprising how little Cornelius, Roddy McDowall who would later BE the franchise, had to do in this movie.
BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES
James: For a film series that just wouldn't die, especially given the ending of this one, Beneath feels the most by the numbers sequel. Heston clearly couldn't be arsed so we get a carbon copy astronaut who crash lands shortly after the events of one, who gets to go through a very quick version of what Heston did, in the opening half an hour. Then to top it off a downer ending that manages to trump even the well known one of its predecessor.
Danny: I enjoyed Beneath, but looking back I’m struggling to think why. Nova’s teeth are a point of hilarity, much in the same way as the communication methods of the humans. It does do a good job of building further on the conflict within the ape community as the gorillas become more militant and cracks in their society grow deeper. It has a terrible ending though, a simple change of whom performed the final deed could have made it really interesting.
ESCAPE THE PLANET OF THE APES
James: Despite the ending of Beneath that was practically impossible to follow up, the series keeps going. In a very creative way I feel. Sure the logic is rather fuzzy, but it works and ends up providing the most fun instalment yet.
Danny: This one has always been my favourite. It centres on Cornelius and Zira, who are very well developed and enjoyable characters, making the film a breeze for the most part, until the obligatory downer ending. It does a good job of flipping the social comment of the first film to really hammer the point home.
CONQUEST THE PLANET OF THE APES
James: I went in thinking this was the one I remembered the most. Turns out I remembered the last ten minutes. Logic to kick the film off is even fuzzier then the last, but when a film lasts with a twenty minute riot there's not much to complain about. Except for maybe Caesar's about face speech right at the very end.
Danny: Some hilarious 70’s future tech on show here, and some real hammy acting from the humans (most of the apes are actually pretty good). There isn’t a whole lot of plot, just a gradual slide down to the ending, in which apes are shown to have no backbone and change their mind at the drop of a hat. I concede that rioting apes are entertaining though.
BATTLE THE PLANET OF THE APES
James: It's pretty amazing that in about fifteen years Caesar has taught an entire colony of apes to speak. And why is the McDonald character the original's brother, when he's exactly the same character played by exactly the same actor?
Danny: Yeah, McDonald was the only solid character from the last movie and they do some weird not-really-explained replacement with his brother. Bit of a pointless movie overall really. It doesn’t add a whole lot to the franchise, just serves as further justification for what happens in Beneath. It’s not that bad, it just doesn’t do a lot. The footnote to the film does lay some different groundwork, trying to wrap the whole thing up in a neat little bow, and to be honest, it’s not a half bad way to finish.
James: This is also the first time we have intelligent apes do anything ape like, such as climbing trees. And it ends in disaster. Hidden meaning perhaps? Apes have to become human to be accepted and to revert to type is your end?
There's also some dreadful cuts at the start during big conversations between Casear and McDonald that you can't help but feel would massively improved the canon.
PLANET OF THE APES (2001 remake)
James: The Burton one. Hmmm. I'd never got round to seeing it before we did this little venture, having been warned off it. But I always felt I should because of my fondness for the originals. I must say the ape make up is amazing, and Michael Clarke Duncan as a gorilla is astounding, and Paul Giamatti is always good. Marky Mark is Marky Mark. But Tim Roth? Dear God he's atrocious. And I don’t know if it's the make up but there's just no chemistry between any of the actors at all.
Danny: You list three good points there, and they are all valid, however they are the only good points as this film is still a steaming pile of garbage. It’s poorly shot, has some pointlessly bad wirework, has some terrible acting, and a shite ending. The original sewed the seeds of the ending throughout the movie, and set Heston up for a fall perfectly. They don’t even attempt anything like that in this. Utter waste of some clearly talented make-up artists, and a huge waste of Michael Clark Duncan who is creepily good as a gorrilla.
Part 2 will follow tomorrow with the guys thoughts on the latest film: Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
